Letter to my friend

I am unsure if you'll ever read this but I want to put some words together. 

We are (were?) best friends since when? Since we were 10 years old or so? Almost 20 years? That is more than half of our lives :D Sadly the last years I find it hard to call you my best friend because I don't know much about you anymore and you don't know much about me for sure. People ask me why I don't know things about you that they know. It is simply because I wish to hear them from you. Why do I need to find out things about you through other people? It isn't like our phones are broken or that our numbers have changed...  If you have troubles, if you need a hand I am still here... 

But I think our dots disconnected and maybe we both don't know how to really contact or connect with each other. I don't know how you feel but to me I find myself bothersome whenever I want to text or call you so I just close my phone and say to myself: "Why does it always have to be me to take the iniciative?" So another day, week, month pass by just like that... and you don't contact me either... 

Our childhood was nice and I'm glad I had you as my friend back then as you were happy to have me.  We had fun, we did silly things and we lent each other a shoulder... You know that I still keep your letter from 8th grade? Yes it is stored safely. 

I don't know where our paths parted at the crossroad but maybe our roads cross again sometime in the future. I really hope we get to be close again because I need a friend now, someone who would stand beside no matter how weird my worries and thoughts are. I need a friend to be silly with but I guess adulthood and our own problems and things won over us. 

Lastly I will throw back some of the words you wrote in the letter (although it was long ago I still cherish them) to remind you what we used to be: 

"We are friends for quite some time and I hope we stay forever. You endured me when I had my toughest times and you were the most naggy about it. You know almost everything about me and you keep that to yourself. Seriously thank you for every word with which you made a better day for anyone. You are a sun and moon at the same time."

-- Anny