New unique book for friend's birthday

So this friend of mine has birthday... in August lol but I started soon making my present, worrying if I would be able to do everything until then :D Knowing my lazy phases this was best option :D Surprisingly my present is already finished end of February and I might also send it way sooner than in August :D 

5 things I dream of but will hardly come true

Simple list like this of stuff I curently dream of :D 

1. have a friend-like relationship (start is heavy ooops)

2. swim with dolphins (somehow have this dream for years xD)

3. learn to play electric guitar (just simple dream, probably would suck at it... never had much of a music talent...)

4. go to FTI concert (just cuz lol might change in few years but not now yet :P)

5. to get steady job so I have steady income so I can go travel around (and the top points as well) but for that I need a point 6 as well...

6. have good friends (not only online ones) because the top points can't be done really on your own... it is best when there are other people you can do things with especially concert or traveling... don't wanna do it on my own... :)

Crying evening

No, no don't worry, nothing is wrong :D It is only the best title of how my last night's evening was :D I met three of my high school classmates and we had such a blast seriously :D I cried of laughter like three times and had to wipe my face as tears flowed like whoa :D Luckily they knew this part of me but it was still funny when I tried to find my tissues :D 

We met at 19:00 nearby and had tea time and girl's time till like half ten lol then we decided to grab a bite and changed places to a pizza place, luckily early enough since last pizzas are done by ten :P One big pizza for 4 girls haha enough for the late time :) More talking, laughing, some letting go of their worries like boyfriends and me and another friend happily listened the other two naggy ones :D 

I actually came home bit before midnight haha it is tough for someone who is used to go to bed with the chickens lol Then it was hard to sleep as my sleep time-table got mixed up and because I was too hyper before then... and alarm went off too soon... 5:45 like usually... was like a zombie when I drove to the capital then... Luckily loud volume rocky FT Island songs and singing Anny kept me up (almost dozzed off on bus then lol) xD Luckily my day went by well :D

But! It was all worth the struggles today as last night felt amazing to meet friends after a few months. It was like I let my worries flow from me through laughter and laughing tears lol Should meet more often :)

Mask (korean drama)

So yes I finished another drama :D Mask seems an easy title and no it's not that green Jim Carey thingy xDDD It's about people wearing masks, having secrets, not being true to themselves etc. 

This story goes around a girl who lives poor life, burried in her father's debts. One day she is somehow forced (threatened etc.) to switch with her dead, rich doppelganger and marry that family's son (clean freak, seems to have psychological problems, can't move on from his mother's death). Simply I want to say only this because it happens too much after that. Her loneliness to be in among strangers, still threatened with her and her family's lives, slight fright of her husband at first lol how she started to resist the bad man forcing her to be in this position and do as he whistles till also how she slowly started to love her husband and ease each other's pains :D 

Work consultant

Had to visit my work consultant today as 3 months already passed by as an unemployed person I am :P Kinda have to go each 3 months to look back at the past 3 months. I somehow treat this bit as formality but maybe I should get more easy going with it, especially after today's meeting. 

Today I was told the good things about me being organized, keeping my word, being on time etc. kinda find myself such robotic person when I write this now haha but she said again that this things will for sure be useful someday. Let's hope that then ne :D 

Busy Thursday

So yesterday was indeed busy day, more than I expected it to be. After my first bad mood a day before about how I have no ine to spend free time with and getting some encouragement from online friends, my mood got better :D Might have had small outbreak because was damn sensible to everything and tears kept flowing but oh well I overcame it :D 

So the busy day yesterday started at vollunteer "work" already.
I had these boxes that cary audio books and had to put such author and title tapes on it + the tape over it.
Looks good right?
Well I had 130 of them... I thought I wouldn't finish it all yesterday but I was determined to do so and I also made it hihi
My neck was bit painful after it but is managable :D
No big deal ^^

For the free time later (around four afternoon) I managed to meet with a friend (usually meet her in capital). We went to tea house, enjoyed our tea and chatted about this and that. After it we went to bookstore to browse through the books a little and it's fun as the biggest bookstore in my country has also mangas :D Is like completely different world to me :D It isn't many here but at least these and way better than it was just few years ago :D 

Night Flight (korean movie)

Yes the picture shows it almost all :D I saw gay movie and it was awesome LOL You have practically anything a straight romance has :D But it is bitter, more than sweet... 

Korean society is not really tolerant towards criminal's childrens or homosexuals... If you are one of those and hiding the fact, it is painful and you can't live your life as normally as anyone else... Worst happens if your secrets are revealed... Which happens here as well... 

Little things about me

A friend asked me if I want to do this with her and I thought this might be fun :D It actually took me days to think it over and to actually complete it all :D Some are really tough to do :D 

So here we go with little things about me :D The order of the written things has nothing to do with priority :D

Random

Drive with dad, on radio a song that goes: "Op-op-op-op-op-opa, Op-op-op-op-op-opa..."
Me to myself: "Oppa? Where? XD"

-Oppa: A respectful Korean term used by females to call older males such as older male friends or older brothers (urban dictionary)

~Happy~

Today I got a mail again... nothing much just news etc. from the bookshops I bought books at before. I frequently get them but not always check because I rarely buy books :P I usually check only to see what is new and to put those on my to-read list or to put them as a proposal to the library of blind :D

As said there was mail again today and it said certain books are 50% off *O* I went to check their online shop and picked a few then decided to stop by the bookstore before I go home :D

I snatched four books lol two romance and two crime stuff muahaha paid only 23€ *O* Only two are from that list I made, the rest was out of stock and I just had to browse some more :D

My heart is happy :D I don't even know when I'll read these but I just love buying books... is like hobby? Collecting? haha just my room has ~300 books *O* I just love such atmosphere... am not smart but gives such feeling right? :D 

Some random thoughts...

Last night I couldn't fall asleep calmly... I tossed and turned... closed my eyes but felt like they were open... I blame this one variety show I'm watching these days... There, couples are matched up and enter fake marriage life... They are so damn cute, lovable and I can see myself in some parts... Some express themselves well, some not... shows nicely how different people deal with love situations... 

Already winter MV (recap)

Yesterday I browse Instagram and immediatelly there is something that triggers my interest. It was FTI leader Choi Jong Hoon's Instagram and teasers for his new mv appearance. I really look forward to anything he does because he isn't really an actor (yet), did some small works but he needs to do more... So even small appearance as a music video is good enough for me :D When I saw that at his Instagram, it looked bad and troubled me until I later discovered the full MV is out already :D 

HuhGak&Vromance's Already winter, the song itself is actually so so but the story in the MV is hellish heartbreaking... Let me tell it along with pictures I took (biasing me over CJH hihi)

At the begining of the MV we see a cute couple who is walking around the city and went shopping. The girl sees a necklace and he asks her if she likes it and she just waves her head (of course she did) and he secretly buys it for her <3

Scandal - The very shocking and immoral incident (korean drama)

So here I am with new drama report :D Finished the 36 episodes yesterday, had to sleep it over now collect my thoughts.

WARNING: spoilers below!!

For starters let's say something about the plot :D We have two fathers, one rich conglomerate who is into construction business and other a simple man, a detective. Rich one actually at first doesn't have a son because his wife is hiding him from her husband while the other father has a lovely son and they share good father-son relationship. The two fathers cross ways when the building the rich one built collapses, trapping the detective's son inside who was in kindergarten. Rich one promised to save the boy but the next day construction workers were demolishing and clearing the area... The detective found his son's body in a truck that was taking the "trash" of the building away... Struck with anger the detective went to rich man's house with attempt to kill him. Just that day the rich man's son finally came home to meet his father. Little one meets the detective and thinks he is his dad. A moment of let's say unclear thoughts, the detective takes the kid with him, kidnaps him. Due to rich guy's wife who brings home a fake kid 3 years later saying she found him, they stop looking for the real kid who is raised by a kidnapper detective :P Of course years later the secrets start to pour to the surface.

On and off

Let's make another confession :D 

Is there two sides of me and sometimes one pops up and at other times the second? There are times when I feel too much but times when apathy strikes. Some small things can make me emotional like whoa, tears, a bug in my throat or just sadness or happiness... Some big news on other hand are like plain paper in my mind but to fit the situation I smile, I say things that are expected while my insides are empty. A friend called this a vampire heart who can turn feelings off :D I think this is easy to understand but it's another thing that I don't really like about me. Faking happiness or sadness... it's troublesome and it's like deceiving people...

Another funny thing... Imagine this situation: you see or read something and imagine how great it would be if that were to happen to me... when it does I'm empty... So frustrating... Can't my mind decide for once? :D Have silly example: I got a red rose from a (now ex-)boyfriend for my birthday. I always found this so nice but then on the inside I was like: what to do with the rose now? I even found it frustrating because I knew I have to drive the bus later and will break or hurt it for sure... :D

This picture shows best how I often feel...

Nothingness

 

I read my friend's post about her problems and it made me think of something, maybe one of the few things we maybe don't have in common but sound similar in a way... This is also tough to explain it well :D

It isn't fully clear to me why this is happening or what triggers it but people would probably call it lack of attention or being bored... but I don't think this is the reason. Imagine you are in a conversation with someone or just sitting among people listening to meeting or I don't know a friendly meet-up. You listen but there comes a moment as if you wake up from a daze and you realize you have been "absent" with thoughts... like your head becomes empty, completely empty, no thoughts, feelings etc. you just stare somewhere but at one moment you wake up and you have no idea what were last words people around you said. Easy words to explain would be that it feels like stepping few steps back, distancing yourself... or falling into a trance or into world of emptiness then suddenly you are thrown back into reality... 

It doesn't happen that often but can easily say daily... It is slightly disturbing... hmmm

Editor? Me?

This is how my work looked like today. The book I scanned yesterday and changed to plain text had to be edited. The scanner or the process when the picture is changed to text can create many mistakes. My work was to go through it with spelling in word and see the noticable mistakes that the spelling found (not all were found by it). I also had to make sure the text is divided the same as in the book but also without any design etc. just plain text. I am sure there are some mistakes left because I didn't read it through, wasn't instructed to do so but I hope the work was done well :D So I hope I did it good enough with these ~70 pages. 

Learning learning

They say you learn while you live or each knowledge you get now will for sure be useful later :D Sure I am jobless but helping out at my last working place gives me also new knowledges. 

Today I felt like a student again :D Notes in one hand, instructions in other while my ex-coworker explained it to me how to work with a Book scanner, how to edit the files, save etc. and make OCR and word files out of the pictures you scanned. Great work for blind and partially sighted people who are computer literate because this way they can read through braille line or let the text-to-sound do it for them :D